eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
