Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize