She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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