girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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