the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
