so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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