I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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