Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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