I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
