is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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