Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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