we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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