dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
