I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
