She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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