I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I'm both gender and math confused
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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