Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
