Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
