and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
