I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
