I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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