I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize