his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
