if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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