Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
