a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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