I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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