youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
