If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There's always time for handjobs
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
