Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
