I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
