It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
