yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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