I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The air was thick with penises
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
