Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
