also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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