ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize