i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I will pee on everything he values.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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