Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
When did angry sex become our thing?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
