their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
