she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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