I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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