it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
