I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He kissed a someone with a penis
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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