Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
