you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
