So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
