Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
