When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
