Your mouth is God's brothel.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
