My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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