I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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