I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
