At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
