i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
