Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
